Have you ever felt cold as ice?

like you wanted to shut down to everyone and keep all of your self to yourself giving nothing to others? Ive been fighting being bitter and shut down for so long, I want to have a cold heart it actually feels better than feeling or being in limbo of wanting and wishing but never getting. I want to be blank empty and cold. Today I felt like being this way makes me feel good and if i miss the meaning of life in order to feel good like this than maybe i will get another chance in another life cos right now I dont give a damn. Have you ever felt this way, is it a phase? Im sure it cant be cos i know some bitter old people. Life makes you harder and less compionate...have you heard of anyone feeling/living this way as well?